Taking the Leap

Risk. Reward. That’s what it comes down to.

The other night, I was binge watching Aziz Ansari’s Master of None, and in the finale episode the main character Dev comes to terms with his own indecisiveness. His fear of making a decision was holding him back from making any decision at all. His dad references a beautiful passage from Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar, comparing this dilemma with a fig tree:

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7

 

If you are a notorious skimmer, and want me to break it down for you, here you go:

  • The fig tree is the future
  • The figs are the many paths the future holds
  • Instead of committing to one juicy, fig…
  • The author just wastes away, starving
  • Because the fear, and uncertainty of missing out on one fig…
  • Causes them to never choose any figs at all.

I’m a habitual over-thinker and excessively indecisive. To a fault. I’m also a pisces. I love to blame my indecisiveness on astrology.

Lately, I have made a lot of big decisions. I quit my job I held and excelled at for the past 3 years, started a business and began investing in my own goals, instead of being a prisoner to someone else’s.

I started off strong and confident, but eventually self-doubt started to set in. I started to ask the question: did I make the right decision?

Did I choose the right fig?

Well, who’s to say, right? I had been dreaming and researching stepping into the entrepreneurial world for over a year, but I always decided it was not the right time.  But one morning I woke up and decided, the right time didn’t exist.

I had to create the right time on my own.

So I took the leap. Am I flying or falling? I choose think I am flying.

I could have continued to waste away my time thinking about my potential but I chose to put it to use. I had to choose a fig before the all spoiled. It hasn’t been easy by a long shot. And I didn’t expect it to be. I know it is going to hard work, but working toward my own goals is so much more gratifying than working towards someone else’s.

Dribble or shoot. And I say take the shot. Take the leap. Don’t wait, because time is going to continue to pass while your waiting to choose your fig.

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One thought on “Taking the Leap

  1. I cannot even express to you how on-time this entire post is. I’m sitting at the bottom of my fig tree starving because I feel as though I cannot choose. Which fig is more “me”? Which choice is right? I get paralyzed by the idea that I’ll make the wrong choice…people say you can change it but that terrifies me. Thank you so much for sharing, I don’t feel so alone. I’m also incredibly inspired by your leap. Thank you thank you thank you ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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